Revenge Anyone?
by WhiteWinterAngel
Summary: "Damn Max get your but over here right now I swear I will murder you in your sleep if you don't get back here," see that my friend is why you do NOT upset Fang, but it's just too funny Not to do this to him. "Suck it up and take it like a man!" I screamed.
1. Chapter 1

_**Revenge**_

_This is Angel thinking to someone_

**This is Max responding to Angel**

This is just regular

Disclaimer: Me no own

_**Max's POV**_

"Damn**, **Max get your but over here right now or I swear I will murder you in your sleep if you don't get back here!"

See, that my friend is why you do NOT upset Fang, but it's just too funny Not to do this to him.

"Suck it up and take it like a man!" I screamed at him running past my little cheerleaders, AKA Nudge and Angel.

"Fang move your fucking butt, you are not about to lose to a girl!" Iggy screamed.

"Shut up Iggy! Do I have to get revenge at you too?"

_Max lead Fang to the roof I have a surprise waiting for him._

**Got it Ang do you have Gazzy too?**

_Yup _Angel replied popping the 'p'

This will teach them never to mess with me again.

"Max I swear I will make your life miserable if you don't stop."

"What are you going to do to me Fang? Put peanut butter in my clothes before we go to the park again or dye me pink like I oh so happened to accidentally do to you?" Yup I'm just so evil. "FYI Fang, pink is so NOT your color!" At this I just had to burst out laughing because the scowl on Fangs' face is so funny. Iggy's chasing us now too. Idiotic guys. Just one more step.

BOOM

"YOU DAUGHTER OF A Frog LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME! REALLY MAX, I MEAN WHAT THE HELL! DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, DIE?"

"Awe, can Fang and Iggy not take getting beat by a couple of girls and their little apprentices?"

Shit, I knew going to school was a bad idea. I now sound like some educated scum. "But I do have to say Iggy you should Not let me in the kitchen I happen to think that there might be an explosion in 3… 2"

**BOOM**

"MAX I'M GOING TO FUCKING MURDURE YOU!" Iggy screamed in my face. Awe sucks to be him.

"Max what next on OR?" Angel asks me. (Just so you know OR stands for Operation Revenge).

"Max that was so funny! How long do you think that the dye is going to stay in? I don't think that Fang looks good paint splattered. If I could paint my own room it would so be paint splattered. Wouldn't that be so cool? I wish we could have our own house like back when we lived with Jeb. It would be awesome if we could live with Dr. M, I would love to have Ella around then we would like have extra will power against you when we want to go to the mall or do your hair and makeup. It's a little hard for just me and Angel to do it to you. Why is it that whenever we dress you up, you say you look like a Barbie with its head cut off and that you are not pretty? Because you are so pretty it drives me nuts that you and Fang don't get together you could be like Barbie and Ken that is the couple right? We should go to Wal-Mart and see if it is them, oh, then we could like go shopping and we could have so much fun! Max can we please go shopping?" Okay who else can talk that much in ONE fucking breath?

"NUDGE, MY BLASTED EARS ARE GOING TO IMPLODE IF THEY DIDN'T ALREADY! GOSH, WHO GAVE YOU SUGAR THIS MORNING?"

"Nudge don't answer that and also Gazzy, well said and also, I guess we could go to Wal-Mart." I say carefully because if I don't watch them, I'm going to Marjory regret this.

"Wait Nudge what do you mean a house we're in one right now?" and here starts the rampage all over again.

_**Fang's POV**_

"Fang, I am Not letting your 'girlfriend' get away with anymore of these stupid useless pranks."

"Ig, one she is not my girlfriend and two I agree, I don't think I can last through anymore of these without getting payback got any ideas because I'm in with your perverted brain." Fang says.

"Well for one, I just heard that we are going to Wal-Mart so I was figuring you could kiss Max right before we go than put Valium in here when we get back but while we are at Wal-Mart you have to flirt with all the girls hot or not."

"Iggy what are you going to do?" Fang asks suspiciously.

"Why young apprentice Fang I'm Going to do this list that say 101 things to do at Wal-mart." Iggy says handing Fang the list. It reads:

101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got Code 3 in House wares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10″.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!…"etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"…I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Bat cave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!"

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawnand Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furnitureand open the patio umbrellauntil you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"

52. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Jones. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Pompon.

68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "Hi! (Giggle) What's your sign? (Giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it!

70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "Oh god, your over powering the perfume!"

71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

73. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left as if you're trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes! I got it! Wow, that was the biggest Cockroach I've ever seen, I think it was pregnant! Hey look, there's another one!" Then Repeat.

74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that you're a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.

77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.

78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you're on a hoarse, and then pretend that you're a cowboy, etc…And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.

79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend.

80. Excessively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Ponder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of French fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from Caldor's, but not Wal-Mart. People who are gay are just like everyone else you know. You disgust me then walk away mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley-girl-like as you can

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.

84. When you're alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should sound like this: "Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly good time. (English)" "Look, oall I want to do, is wok ta Stawbucks and git a cawfee (New York)" Etc.

85. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like you're having some kind of massive seizure.

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if you're suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see whose watching and run away as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department

90. Put lingerie in the men's department.

91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men's carts when they turn around.

92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that someone is trying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over, start crying and saying "All I ever wanted was a little attention" Then run away crying.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink every time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.

94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say "Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things." Then clap your hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming "NO! I DON'T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO NO NO NO!" Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the eyes, and calmly say "I…will start…a fire…"The pull out a Zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don't light the Zippo, just hold it closed.

95. Light a match under a sprinkler.

96. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so you're back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away.

97. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is! I haven't seen you in so long!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me?" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.

98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend that you're a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this"

99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

100. Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen my mommy?"

101. Steal a Wal-Mart shirt. The possibilities are endless.

BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.

"This is going to be good" Iggy says with an evil smirk on his face.

_**Authors Note: Yup I just really wanted to do one of these I was going through my email and I saw it and Iggy was the first person that came to my mind! Review or I won't post again!**_

_**Ps: This was edited 5/21/12**_

_**(can I have 2 reviews)**_

_**-whiteangel101**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Okay so to respond to a review:**_

_**Iggy is blind (but remember he can see things that are on white)**_

_**Yes they do have wings**_

_**And finally this takes place after The Angel Experiment and School's out Forever.**_

_**Also I like the idea of bringing Dylan in that would be interesting But it takes place before he came.**_

_**Thx for reviewing :D on with the story**_

_This is Angel thinking to someone_

**This is Max responding to Angel**

This is just regular

_**This is authors note if you didn't figure that out already**_

_**Disclaimer: No I happen to not own anything except the tellitubies jk, that show isn't mine either…**_

_**(I laughed my butt off writing this chapter)**_

_**Ch. 2 Revenge Anyone?**_

Max's POV

"I swear if you freaks don't get your asses down here right now, I am cancelling this trip to hell!" I scream.

What can I say, were freaks and it always works.

"Max we're right in front of you," says Fang trying to sound… sweet. I had better keep my eye on him… and that bag?

"Fang, what's with the bag?"

"Um…Nothing?"

Am I the only one who caught that or did Fang just stutter?

"Let's just go I want to get the heck out of here and then out of there before anything happens.

"Ugh, I'll be right back I forgot the MAX card in my room." I stomp my way up the stairs. You see I have reasons why I don't want to go to Wal-Mart; try living most of your life in a dog crate. Crowds. See my problem?

"Max?"

"Creeper, what are you doing stalking me!" I screech in his face.

What? He caught me off guard.

"No," Then he leans in and wait for it; kisses me. I kiss back, yea, I'm a hormonal driven teenager give me some slack people!

"Max, Fang, are you coming or not?" Iggy yells.

"Max get the card."

"Oh yah thanks." There is something not right with this picture. If you don't believe that imagine this: you walk down the stairs after an amazing kiss (you can only dream) by Fang, then, Fang whispers to Iggy phase one done, then, you get pulled out the door by two incredibly strong girls to go to what is hell to you so yah can anyone decode this for me. Gosh, I'm turning into Nudge .

"Fang, you're in charge of Iggy and Gazzy. If they blow anything up you are to be blamed and I want no funny business. I don't want to get kicked out of another store, its bad enough you guys blasted a whole in the side of Target. I don't care if the name of the store is Target; it's not a target for your bombs you know what you need meet me back in the front when you're done. Come on Angel and Nudge." Phew that's a lot of words.

As soon as we got away from the boys (this store is huuuuge) Angel told me this exasperating piece of information:

"Max I just read Fang and Iggy's minds because I was suspecting that they were up to something, and they are. They want payback for all your retarded pranks. They are planning to make your life absolutely positively horrible today, and they are going to do it at all costs possible so can we attack them before they do us?"

"Angel, one: yes we are going to attack them first I have a few ideas two: it's wrong to read minds but thanks for it three: have you been reading the dictionary lately?" I ask which gives her a slight blush on her cheeks.

"Mmp butfd srdkd dlfoakser dlkfuse alkdfuj dlfjdoif." Oh yeah, I forgot to take the duck tape off Nudge. That just is another use for duck tape. Got to love that stuff.

"Ouch do you have any nice things in your body I mean jeez, okay first off can we ride those electric cart things they look so fun. I mean I don't think anyone would let Iggy ride one of those. He would probably just run it into a dressing room or something. What do you think that Fang and Iggy are going to do to us? Do you think that Gazzy is going to go against us, if so that would be so unfair because I mean he was like in our pranks against them but then again, Max started it so maybe they are just going to go after you, I just hope I don't get tie-dyed, I really really would hate that. We should never ever again tie-dye Fang, it just looks so wrong I mean sure it's really funny but I think black is his color he is such an emo I wonder what it would look like if we dressed him up as barney? Max can we tie Fang to a chair and give him a makeover I want to dress him up as a fairy princess and oh ooh then Angel should mind control him to go flirt with all the guys that would be so hilarious. Please?"

"NUDGE YOU CAN DO WHATEVER THE HECK YOU WANT TO THOSE DUMMIES AS LONG AS YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!" what I'm surprised she even stopped this time. She must not want her mouth duck taped again I do like the idea of dressing him up as Barney though.

Fang's POV

"Fang which idea should we do first? Ride the electric thingys or scare little kids." Iggy asks Fang.

"You are purely sick Iggy. Electric carts." Fang tells Iggy.

Max's POV

What the heck was that? He is so dead who let a (swear word of your choice here) blind guy ride an electric cart.

"Iggy!" Damn I shouldn't have yelled well I hope no one in the store wanted to go in the sewing department because I am NOT cleaning that up. Oh No the war has begun.

**ANGEL!**

_Jesh Max don't yell you're going to make my brain bleed._

**Sweetie, can you please tell Nudge that the war has begun and that she can do anything she wants to the enemies and to just try and not break anything.**

_Okay Max I have an idea for one. Meet me out side of women's under wear._She leaves my head after that guess I won't be questioning her first oh well all of Angel's tricks usually end up pretty funny.

So I walk to were Angel tells me and I just can't help not laughing. I mean seriously have you ever seen two 14 year old boys and an 8 year old boy running in circles singing the song 'Sexy and I know it' in a bra and thong. I do not ever want to see that sight again but it's so funny. Yup Angel's tricks are always good.

_Thanks Max! _Angel mind sends to me with a bright smile on her face.

'Click'

Nudge has… a camera…and just took a picture.

"Miss may I please interest you in some condoms?" Fang asks to a young couple trying to get the hell away from him, while still in the undergarments. He is NEVER going to live this down. Just then out of the corner of my eye I see Iggy and Gazzy doing the same thing.

'Click' 'click' 'click' 'click' 'click' 'click'

"Nudge… I want… a million copies… of those!" I scream in-between laughing my butt off.

"Kay Max!"

"Max I can't hold them for much longer can we run now?" asks my baby Angel. No she is not my baby but she has sure taken after me.

_**Me want reviews**_

_**This was updated on 5/21/12**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Reviews:**_

*FallenArchangels

*Spottedleopard79

*Riddinggrl27

_**Thx for reviewing :D on with the story i want reviews so do it other wise i will be sincerly pissed off...**_

_**Also I do not happen to own the any of the lists in this story I just happened to have my word document open to this and the internet next to it and type all the stinking things!**_

_**WARNING I AM NOT TRYING TO DIS VALLEY GIRLS! OR GAY OR EMO PEOPLE! SORRY IF YOU TAKE OFFENCE!.**_

_**14 pages 7,777 words wow…**_

_This is Angel thinking to someone_

**This is Max responding to Angel**

This is just regular

_**This is authors note if you didn't figure that out already**_

_**Ch. 3 Revenge Anyone**_

Fang's POV

What kind of sick joke was that? I am going to kill Max; she is not going to ruin my fun. Now let's see what can I do to stop her-

"Fang Fang I love you thiiiiiis MUCH!"

'Click'

"Sweet Max, you should have seen Fang's face it was ha-lar-i-ous! But we should probably run now because Fang looks like he is ready to kill us." That must have been the least amount of words Nudge has ever said. I mean her name is Nudge for a reason people. Wait back up. Max… loves me?

**Fang don't let it go to your head she does but of course she has to be a stubborn pig about it she only did it because it was one of the ideas we have.**

_Ang-_

**Nope bye oh yah ps Max is going to kill you for going against her**

Huh so the leader gets to have fun but I can't? That is NOT fair. Oh well she had this coming for her. (Insert Fang smirk that makes Max melt but only evil).

Max's POV

"Max, Max come here I have the best idea ever!" she changes her tone from yelling to a whisper at the sight of my face, "You know what we could do we can go to the perfume section and grab all the samples and then we can lure them into an aisle and then we can spray them and then they will smell wonderful! Oo but I wonder if they would end up smelling horrible. That might backfire on us though not really though because they would be the ones that stink and then we can lock them out because they are going to smell bad. It would be so coolio if it would rain while they are outside. Do you think they would smell like Total then because people always say you smell like a wet dog? Since total is a dog and all?" Nudge finally shuts up.

"Um… sure why not but I'm not going to do the luring."

"It's okay Angel can just mind control them there, since you seem to be pretty fine with the mind control and everything today. I wonder if we are even going to do any shopping…" She started a rant about shopping what can say I need to get the fudge away from her. I don't see the problem with that.

"I am going to freaking kill you Fang!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

"Not if you can't catch me," what the hell is wrong with him, or should I say her. Let's see pink sparkly stuff that I have no idea when I will come out, (probably revenge for his own pink hair) which I need to get revenge for. Might as well settle for a little pre-revenge shall we say.

"Hey Fangy you look so cute, I wonder if you would like date my brother," stop gagging Max get this over with. Twittering my hair that might help," So will you?" I sound so much like that slutty red head wonder ( I think her name was Lisa 'miss break Max's heart' Rift) right now.

**Fang's POV**

OMFG what the hell does she think I am! I am NOT gay and I am Not Emo! This must be one of her terrible attempts at a prank that I suddenly think are going to so get her by the time I am done with her. Now let's see how to answer…

"Oh yes Max I would love to date you, I mean your pink sparkly hair goes so with mine, how about we go get some like perfume to like match our like awesome hair!" By the look on Max's face, I pulled off Valley Girl. I grab her arm I sure as Popsicle Stick hope that Iggy and Gazzy are done with their 'perfume bomb'. I know Max might just go on a murder rampage today, the erasers won't know what came at them.

YES I DO HAPPEN TO BE A LINE. DON'T LIKE ME AND ILL BEAT YOU WITH A STICK JK OR MAYBE NOT…..

Well after pulling Max to the perfume isle passing a lot and I mean a lot of red heads (what the heck is it today the red head association of Wal-mart day?) Yes seeing a fuming pissed off Max is funny because of the, what did she call her something wonder… Oh that's it red head wonder. We finally got to where I was dragging her. (Max just had to pick a Super Store didn't she.) Well all I can say is my team was against her team in firing stinky stuff at each other.

"Max?"

"Yah," she responds.

"Want to team up against them?" Well this startles her. I mean I guess it does since we have been against each other for about a lot of weeks except when we are fighting Erasers but that's always been that way-

"Yah sure just what are we going to do to them?" I don't answer her I just give her my own list of things to do at wall-mart. It has 333 things on it, if there are repeats of Iggy's list then well I wouldn't know cause I'm too lazy to do it myself

Max's POV

Yup I answer him and what do I get? A list shoved in my face if anyone knows me it would be him and he knows I hate anything to do with school which would include READING! Oh well guess he's going to make me.

333 Ways to get kicked out of Wall-mart

1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart  
>2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment<br>3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham  
>4. Go up to some old geezer &amp; say "Grandpa! You're ALIVE! It's a MIRACLE! etc."<br>5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _  
>6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.<br>7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell "!"  
>8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell "THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"<br>9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!"  
>10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell "PICK ME"<br>11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"  
>12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men<br>13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them  
>14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice<br>15. Randomly place 24 bags of candy in peoples carts  
>16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.<br>17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say "code three in house ware" and see what happens  
>18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department<br>19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap  
>20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor<br>21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"  
>22. Open a pack of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a "d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!"<br>23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation  
>24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, "I know where you live..."<br>25. Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool...  
>26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it<br>27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I changed my mind."  
>28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song<br>29. Say things like, "Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?"  
>30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!" Then run out of the store screaming<br>31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called wal mart? Or what's up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can't you all remember your own names?  
>32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles<br>33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you're going to bite them  
>34. Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady's face and watch her freak out<br>35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, "I like to move it, move it! Or say "You got chicken legs!"  
>36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."<br>37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room  
>38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food"<br>39. TP as much of the store as possible  
>40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices! then get back up &amp; act normal<br>41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "use this wisely."  
>42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke<br>43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one... I know I know... hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off  
>44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day<br>45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department  
>46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom<br>47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!"  
>48. Over the intercom say there is a big sale on all items in electronics department and first 10 people to the check outs gets one item free... &amp; see what happens<br>49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in peoples carts  
>50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners<br>51. Run through the store and jump on random peoples carts singing I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!  
>52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night<br>53. Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras  
>54. Get a marker &amp; go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items... the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand<br>55. Go up to some of the customers while your carrying a paper bag and say "trick or treat!" and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face  
>56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by<br>57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."  
>58. Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a Mcchicken<br>59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, That's better"  
>60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, "A clue a clue!"<br>61. Go to a clerk and tell them u lost your son and ask if they can call his name over the speaker! When they ask u his name make up a ridiculous name  
>62. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters<br>63. While Humming the theme to Mission Impossible While wearing all black, knock over all of the cans  
>64. Take all the CD's put them in the wrong place and when an employee puts them all back yell at her and mess them up again<br>65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you  
>66. Take a friend with you and a younger child and start arguing over who gets custody then have the child run away and out of the store and yell CILLY COME BACK!<br>67. Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing  
>68. Run through the make-up department and yell, "There's a dead body in aisle 3!"<br>69. Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head  
>70. Dress up in a fairy costume, and climb up a ladder and when people go by say "your wish is granted"<br>71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell "ROLLBACK!"  
>72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind &amp; say... sir or madam... don't think that.<br>73. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, "Shut up in there."  
>74. Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, "She's horrible at giving make-overs!" and point to a random woman.<br>75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song  
>76. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store<br>77. Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kids aisle, and pretend to be dead  
>78. Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away and when someone tries to pick it up run up to them and yell hands off my dollar! Then got to a manager and tell him that they stole 20 dollars from you<br>79. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles  
>80. Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous."<br>81. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down  
>82. Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham<br>83. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags  
>84. Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle<br>85. Act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions  
>86. Swing on the half price banners<br>87. Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask what and walk off like you're annoyed  
>88. Burp and say mmmm, tasty<br>89. Hold Barbie for ransom  
>90. Run around with a country music cd and sing Queen's "We Will Rock You"<br>91. throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone's cart  
>92. Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you're talking to her by saying "Let's bust this joint!"<br>93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!"  
>94. Do your own radio show over the intercom<br>95. Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff and hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say "Luke, I am your father" and make breathing noises in your darth vader mask  
>96. Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up<br>97. Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming 'EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN!  
>98. find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with your self when everyone is watching you<br>99. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices  
>100. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over<br>101. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund  
>102. get a cardboard box, go in the store and pop out of the box and give out candy to passerby<br>103. Find the fish section and when someone walks by begin to pet the fish tank and say, "I know how you feel..."  
>104. Spill water on the floor, and run around claiming that the store is flooded<br>105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items  
>106. Scream really loudly and when someone tells you to be quiet scream, "I will not be silenced!"<br>107. Hold a bag of frozen veggies over your head and yell "Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!"  
>108. Hug someone randomly and say, "I love u mommy!"<br>109. Go in the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit  
>110. Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming "HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!"<br>111. Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around  
>112. Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk "Mommy, guess what? I'm a big kid now!"<br>113. Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend ur having a nightmare about cookies and yell " COOKIE! COOKIE! NOOOOOO!" Then start rolling around  
>114. Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, "I'm the little girl from the well... I've been waiting..."<br>115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy frys. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the frys above their head like there getting married  
>116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, "I see dead people!"<br>117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in  
>118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.<br>119. Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.  
>120. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.<br>121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend.  
>122. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.<br>123. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from McDonalds, but not Walmart  
>124. Get popcorn and throw at customers, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things 125. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.<br>126. When your alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents.  
>127. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.<br>128. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.  
>129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can.<br>130. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.  
>131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.<br>132. Light a match under a sprinkler  
>133. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away.<br>134. Buy something that is like $5 and give the cashier all pennies.  
>135. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is! I haven't seen you in so long!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me?" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.<br>136. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this"  
>137. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.<br>138. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.  
>139. start hitting on the mannequins.<br>140. Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up.  
>141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap.<br>142. Put women's clothes into men's carts.  
>143. Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men's carts when they aren't looking.<br>144. Run around in front of a mirror screaming "COPYCAT!"  
>145. Bring a friend and a stopwatch. Get carts and race around. every time you nock something over, subtract a second from your time. You usually get kicked out before you figure out who won.<br>146. Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say "WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!"  
>147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don't have it, start crying and scream, "Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?"<br>148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel  
>149. Steal their ketchup, go on the counter, smear ketchup all over you and say HELP ME HELP ME! OMG! THE HOTDOG KILLED ME!<br>150. Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell 'HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!"  
>151. Run around switching all of the open signs on the cash registers to closed and all of the closed signs to open. Watch the customers get confused.<br>152. Ask for Goat Milk  
>153. Make sure somebody's in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say "AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!" Until someone asks if you're alright. When they do, get up and say, "Yes, I'm fine, why?" And then walk away calmly like nothing happened.<br>154. Dress up as an emo kid, then scream at people, "WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?"  
>155. Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people<br>156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"  
>157. Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can't see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling "Hey, I'm Using the Bathroom in here!"<br>158. Buy a chocolate bar, go to the bathroom, smear chocolate on your hand, reach under the next stall and ask, "Can I have some toilet paper?"  
>159. Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans!<br>160. Climb up to one of the really high shelves and start singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. Works better around summer.  
>161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing "Surfin' USA"<br>162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, "God has spoken!"  
>163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way.<br>164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker!  
>165. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. whoever blows up most wins<br>166. Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head.  
>167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3.<br>168. Go into one of those employees only doors and go behind some food shelves. when people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it.  
>169. eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face<br>170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time.  
>171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg.<br>172. Start playing the violin.  
>173. Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, "Shh, this is my favorite show!"<br>174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead.  
>175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in.<br>176. walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce lika a bum  
>177. Poke people and run away screaming, "Don't touch me!"<br>178. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily  
>179. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan.<br>180. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend.  
>181. Shoot spitwads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically<br>182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, "Ooh la la!"  
>183. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!"<br>184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff  
>185. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes.<br>186. Walk around in a court jester costume  
>187. Run at people with a pitch fork<br>188. Pretend that you're having a heart attack  
>189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them<br>190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, "Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there's a sale on isle two."  
>191. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, "Where's my chap stick?"<br>192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people  
>193. Claim isle three as your 'Secret Lair'<br>194. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can.  
>195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it's a potato sack on field day<br>196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals  
>197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera<br>198. Yell curse words at people  
>199. Knock down as many displays as you can<br>200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, "I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" and then give him a hug and run away.  
>201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, "MARRY ME!" to random people<br>202. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away  
>203. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, "How much is that?"<br>204. Get a tent and campout with the Barbie dolls in the toy isle  
>205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces<br>206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!"  
>207. Turn on all the flashlights, hang them from the ceiling, stand under them, scatter confetti at your feet, and start singing, using a Barbie as a microphone.<br>208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming.  
>209. Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes.<br>210. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, "What a rip off!" And walk out of the store.  
>211. Start singing, "Tinkle, tinkle, little star! In a toilet that's real far! Up above us in the sky! It's weird to learn that pee does fly! Make sure it does never land! In my, my, my, my, my hand!"<br>212. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years.  
>213. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short.<br>214. Scream, "Look! Someone's stealing an old lady's purse!" and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting "I'm a terrorist!"  
>215. Run out of the dressing room screaming, "Michael Jackson has my dad!"<br>216. Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, "I'll have that one. And that one. And that one..." Keep going until you've pointed to every fish they have in stock  
>217. Tap dance through the store<br>218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican  
>219. Rip open every package you see<br>220. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way.  
>221. Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically)<br>222. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi."  
>223. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some live music." Then sing it again.<br>224. Run around with underwear on your head, screaming, "I am Captain Underpants!"  
>225. Follow a male security dude and ask him where the "feminine needs" are.<br>226. Go to the toy isle, set up the GI joe figures and yell, " Then it's WAR!"  
>227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and "water" the flowers.<br>228. Go to the bakery section and yell "I LOVE PIE!" to everyone you see.  
>229. Take all the pets out of their cages, including the fish.<br>230. Grab a strawberry shortcake doll and go to the bakery section. Tell the baker "I'd like to buy strawberry shortcake!" and hold the doll in their face.  
>231. Scream, "GET OUT OF MY YARD!" to everyone who walks by you.<br>232. Announce that there's a huge sale at Target  
>233. Throw a party in a busy isle<br>234. Test drive lawn mowers  
>235. Have a tennis tournament in the middle of the store<br>236. Throw all the bouncy balls in the toy section everywhere and let them bounce around  
>237. Carry a bomb and make it explode<br>238. Eat a bunch of candy and refuse to pay for it  
>239. Go to the in store restaurant and order anything. When receiving it tell them that this was not what you wanted. Refuse to pay and go tell the manager<br>240. Hide in a pile of plushies and then jump out at people who walk by  
>241. Act like an old lady and scream, "AH! I broke my back! This wouldn't happen at Target!"<br>242. Pretend to be a life size Barbie. When someone wants to buy you, run away screaming that someone was trying to kidnap you.  
>243. Take a marker to all the happy faces. Then change the prices. That will start an uproar<br>244. When a clerk stops you and asks your name read their name of their id card. When they say it's not your name scream, "IDENTITY THEFT!"  
>245. Throw jelly sweets at the cashiers<br>246. Steal a shopping cart(As in take it out of the store and put it in your car)  
>247. Ride on the back of the carts. (they hate it when you do that) Run into other carts yelling like a maniac.<br>248. Follow one person around the store. Poke them ever so often. When the snap and yell at you scream, "STALKER!"  
>249. Pretend like you're a person who works there and walk around saying, "Can I help you find anything?"<br>250. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it  
>251. Pretend like you're blind and can't find what your looking for. Go up to random people and ask, "Will you help me find some cat food for Fluffy?"<br>252. Bowl with bottles full of open soda  
>253. Run around with a bowl of cheerios yelling, "It lowered my cholesterol!"<br>254. Order a pizza from the cashier  
>255. Ask to have your pizza shaken, not stirred<br>256. Start a food fight  
>257. Go up to a fat woman and say, "Taxi?"<br>258. Put underwear over your shorts, get a blue shirt, yellow paint, and red paint, paint an s on the shirt, go to the material section, cut a red cape, then get an umbrella, open it, and jump off the tops of shelves.  
>259. Take the spray paint and paint all the people around you<br>260. Go up to random people and hug them while putting a 'Kick Me' sign on the back of their shirt  
>261. Hide in dark places with a golden ring. when people walk by, jump out at them hissing, "We wants it! You cants have it!" Then gently whisper, "it will be alright my precious"<br>262. Flip off the manager  
>263. Go to the food section, take all of the boxed items out, and stack them up to make a fort. Glue can help. And creating a 'distraction' elsewhere for the employees to handle while you work does too...<br>264. Drop a pen and let someone else go and pick it up for you. When they do try to pick it up yell to them, "HEY THATS MY PEN THEIF!"  
>265. Bring a slip n' slide blast some Music and bring some random people to it and kick their back so they slide accross the slip n' slide and scream "PARTY IN THE HIZ HOUSE!"<br>266. Throw a dance party  
>267. Write on the floors<br>268. Pull all the clothes off the racks into a pile on the floor and hide under it, and when someone tries to pick the clothes up, leap out cackling madly and run down the aisles, still cackling.  
>269. Go up to someone and say "look over there" Then pull down their pants. And, if you're lucky, their underwear.<br>270. Pretend to have an asthma attack, and when someone tries to help you, bite them. Or pretend to faint.  
>271. Get a bag of chips and walk around the store eating them. When an employee tries to stop you or make you pay, tell them that they're your chips! Keep screaming it.<br>272. Spray a customer with pepper spray and scream, "Help! Help! He's a rapist!"  
>273. Pretend to be a rabid dog and run around growling at people. Then if someone tries to stop you, bite them.<br>274. Lie on the floor. Just lie there. It is guaranteed to freak people out. Either pretend to be asleep, or to have passed out.  
>275. Take toys and put them on the floor and take a cart. Start running over the toys screaming, "Monster Truck Mania!"<br>276. Climb up the shelves/storage units, then refuse to come down.  
>277. Take red juice Pour it on your face make streaks or stripes then layout on the floor with a flower in your hand when a crowd of people come stand up and walk like a zombie!<br>278. Grab a bowl, spoon, milk, and cereal. Eat it right there and tell them you'll pay when your done.  
>279. Stand on the conveyer belt when your checking out and walk like its a treadmill... then ask for a speed increase<br>280. Wrap yourself in toilet paper rolls and pretend to be a mummy looking for your wife, Cleopatra  
>281. Follow a stranger around and mimic them. Continue doing this for a long period of time.<br>282. If you are in Target, say there is a code yellow  
>283. Get some candy corn form the candy aisle put two on your canine teeth and go around the store biting peoples necks<br>284. Flirt with the manager's wife  
>285. Walk calmly to the CDs, when u see one that has Hilary Duff, yell (if you're a fan) OHMIGOD! HILARY'S LATEST! OHMIGOSH, I, LIKE HAVE TO HAVE THIS! (if you're not a fan) Find a hammer, take the CD, gently put it on the floor, then mash it like a madman.<br>286. Run around spinning and say you're the Tasmanian devil  
>287. Run around in circles and yell, "I'M THE CIRCLE MAN!"<br>288. Announce a sock-sliding contest and take off your shoes and start sliding. It's actually really fun...  
>289. Go up to a employee ask for a application and where it says goals write down 'to take over Wal-Mart' and turn it in<br>290. Get a water gun and threaten someone with it. A cashier is usually a prime candidate. Then say in a low, dangerous voice (without collapsing into laughter) "Empty out the cash register."  
>291. Take a soda, shake it up, and then spray it at people.<br>292. Hide in the clothes so when someone comes to look you yell, "PICK ME!"  
>293. Request that an employee find you an imaginary product, then keep saying: "I know it's here somewhere, just keep looking!" Eventually the employee will run out of patience, so then you say: "You've been punked!" And run out screaming and laughing. (Maybe you won't get kicked out, but you'll freak an employee out...)<br>294. Print out a bunch of advertisements for Target, Marshalls, etc... Then calmly go around taping/gluing/stapling them to products, people, and walls. It helps to have a WHOLE lot of them.  
>295. Move things around. (Put frozen food in with the barbies, etc...)<br>296. If a fat person has a twinkies in their cart take it out and start eating it and spit it out on them and yell, "That crud is sick!"  
>297. Point at an old man and yell, "LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!"<br>298. Put a ski mask on and wear a black cape with black clothes and a fake sword and yell, "Zoro has returned!"  
>299. Dress up as an old lady and whack people with your purse and when employees come to stop you, pretend to faint<br>300. Go to Wal-Mart at 2:00 in the morning and do cartwheels around the store screaming, "I'm pregnant!"  
>301. Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas<br>302. Break some glass, then accuse a flying monkey  
>303. Threaten a cashier with a candy bar<br>304. Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal Mart a Make Over.  
>305. Buy a bag of candy. Start to walk away, then ask if you can exchange them. Repeat until they get angry.<br>306. Go to the dairy section and protest against milking cows. Say things like, "What if the cows aren't ok with us milking them? Cows have rights too!" 307. Redecorate the Rollback Smiley Face so he is green with neon pink eyes.  
>308. Go up to the manager and ask where the nearest K-Mart is.<br>309. If you see a couple holding hands, run through their hands and scream, "RED ROVER!"  
>310. Grab a gnome, then hide in a clothes rack and when someone picks out a shirt or whatever jump out and yell "The gnome did it! The gnome did it!" Then throw the gnome and run.<br>311. Put up free sample signs all over the store and watch people leave with their "free samples."  
>312. Run around the store screaming, "OMG! HELP! PINTO BEANS ARE TAKING OVER COSTCO! AHHH!"<br>313. In Walmart, they give out free stickers. Take them and decorate your body with them. 314. Get a bunch of your friends, about 10 or more, and go up to a lady who looks like she's in her 20's. When there are lots of people around, ask, "Mommy? Can we have some ice cream?"  
>315. Spit in the manager's face<br>316. Stare at a customer for a long time while saying, "Hello, hello, hello" nonstop until they get really mad  
>317. Go to customer service and say, "Your fat vallet guy stole my car."<br>318. Put an "Out of Order" sign on the manager's butt  
>319. Go up to customers and whisper, "Seven Days..." and if they turn around, pelt them with Skittles<br>320. Melt chocolate, then scream, "Free face masks!"  
>321. Wear a pair of bright yellow pants on your head and run around screaming, "They Got Me!"<br>322. Slap the manager and scream, "He's alive! He's ALIVE!"  
>323. Put a lot of matches and gasoline in your cart, then smile at people<br>324. Run around the store five times, and when you are done, scream, "I WIN!" and do a victory dance  
>325. Let a collie lose in the store, then scream, "Lassie, come home!"<br>326. Make your friend that's a guy try on girl clothes and then have him run around like a crazy person.  
>327. Hide in a boys clothes rack, and when a boy with glasses walks by, scream, "You're a wizard, Harry!"<br>328. Grab lots of G.I. Joe action figures and Water Bombs and yell, "ITS WAR!" whenever someone walks by and throw the bombs at them.  
>329. Put a Dora toy on the floor and when someone tries to pick it up, yell, "Swiper No Swiping!"<br>330. Buy a fake but expensive looking vase. (ex. a cheap glass pot.) Fill it with some ash and soot. Then take it to an employee, bump into him and drop it so it shatters. Then keep screaming at him that it was your mother and you will sue him for every thing he owns, and tell him he has to pick it up then and there or he will be cursed for 10 years.  
>331. Put a squirt gun in a stuffed elmo's hand and scream, "Everybody down! Elmo's got a gun!"<br>332. Drive around in a kiddie car singing the batman theme song.  
>333. Run around with underwear on your head screaming, "I'm Blind!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thx for reviewing :D **_

_**Also I would like to say that there is a reason why it's supposed to be confusing just bear with me. AND FANG DYED MAX'S HAIR PINK! Yah just saying it isn't much but still you know how Max might be but max died Fangs hair pink with sparkles.**_

_**Thx to my new beta MockingJayBirds (she changed her name and I don't remember it)**_

_This is Angel thinking to someone_

**This is Max responding to Angel**

This is just regular

_**This is authors note (if you didn't figure these out well you need help)**_

_**Ch. 4 Revenge Anyone**_

List aside time for a whole lot of dang junk to do I guess I should just get this over with. And just so you know I'm not really on his side to get revenge on enemy you must play double time spy. And they said I was a terrible actress, hello people how many times have I lied to them!

"Max down here!" Fang whisper shouts whatever you want to call it to me. Yup this is just going to be to fun.

Okay I'm not an idiot I know Max isn't on my side I can read her like a book which is exactly why now little miss Maximum Ride and I are hiding in one of those circle cloths racks. Yah you probably are thinking and what the PICKLE does that mean well here's some simple math.

Fang + Max – Emotions +duck tape = Fang duck taping Max together leaving her in the clothes rack getting pink fluffy clothes to dress Max.

Okay so maybe that wasn't that simple of a math problem.

I guess Fang isn't that dumb. Dammed duck tape hurts. Angel must still be in a heated war with Ig, Gazzy, and Nudge. Well actually I know I can still here the yelling and screaming and they're all the way across the store. Uh-huh. I hate my life now watch this someone (like one of my enemies) will come here and try to capture me while my flock is still too busy playing revenge of the century. See this is why I loathe shopping.

It. Is. Official. I freaking hate my life. Anyone want to guess what he did no I don't think so. I happen to be dressed in a neon pink dress over the duck tape have on high hells like the really big ones I could break and Erasers neck in one of these, and he put make up on me. ON ME. To top it all off I still have that cursed pink hair. Oh yah and I'm being carried through a store to the frozen food department by a paint splattered 14 year old guy. Uh-huh so not noticeable.

"Fang put me down now," so that what I try to say but it comes out more as;

"Mang de fe ow meow," so convincing. I hate duck tape unless it's on Nudge's mouth. Then it does well. So you would never guess where he is taking me. Any guesses? How about you with the cookie hat? Nope He threw me in a freaking freezer I mean a freezer this is like Antarctica in here. I hope I never have to go to Antarctica.

"Max, Max, Max. I thought we were smarter than that," then he slams the door and walks off. Well I don't think shoving a mutant freak in a freezer was on that list.

"There iz da girl, da vun vith da vings," some freaky man says pointing at me next to some guy then says, "da vun I vant you vo vake vo Germany." I swear on my cookies that this dude is nuts!

_**Thank God summers Here! But on a bad not for u I or maybe good don't know yeat but I need some ideas on how the war should go…**_

_**I have a poll on how this should end!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**IM POSTING ONLY A LITTLE BECAUSE I HAVE AN IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE! **_

_**PLEASE HELP ME START A HOLIDAY TOMMORW ON JUNE 22, 2012 PLEASE TALK THE LEAST YOU CAN TO HONOR ALL THE PEOPLE WHO CANT. I'm doing this because I think it's not fair so here's your sneak preview. Please post this on your story too, if you can. If you want review or pm me on if you're doing it or what happened ill share mine if you want.**_

Max POV

So can the world have a WHAT THE FREAKEN BACON moment? So let me tell you what happened. This dude with the accent apparently he's Dr. Roland ter Borcht, and the other two guys with him are Dylan my supposedly perfect match and Dr. Hans Gunther-Hagen who 'created Dylan' (in my life you learn to expect the unexpected I mean I'm a flying year old who's only 98% human leading 5 other mutants and a talking dog). Then the mutants (aka Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel), come flying at the 3 freaks mentioned before and me in a bag. So now that you're caught up here we go. (I hope your just as confused as I am because I soo did not sign up for this.)

"TAKE THIS FREAK!" Gazzy screams letting out his um well talent.

"Have you ever heard of common courtesy, I mean why the heck are you trying to kidnap such an innocent person? I meant Max is my leader and all but now that I think of it she really isn't that innocent, I mean we have stolen stuff and we have been kicked out of a Target for blowing the sign up but I mean who wouldn't do that. She's done a pretty decent job of raising us though so I mean give her a break even though she never lets me go shopping or anything I mean it's just not fair do you have any idea how many times Max has pulled me out of a store I mean they're cute boots I freaken want them it's just not fair I want It I deserve it don't I. I grew up in a cage and was experimented on…" so you get the point, Nudge is standing there talking one of the older dudes ears off while covered in sparkles or glitter whatever the heck you call it a thingy that holds the noodles after you cook it (stupid being able to burn water self), and a pink tutu. I honestly don't think I want to know what happened. Well actually I kinda do, we're probably going to have to finish the lists/war whatever it is at another Wal-Mart.

_**AN To answer Questions:**_

What the frick is happening? _**You will find out eventually. **_

I don't understand any of this! _**You shouldnt**_

Is fang like an evil jerk or something? _**It's a war every man (mutant) for themselves**_

Who is the spaz with the accent? _** Borcht**_

Why the heck did fang put max in a freezer? _**I felt like that place, would you rather have her suspended on a beam over the store?**_

What is happenening? _**My mind not yours keep reading**_

If fang is evil I will drown u in pickle juice! _**Nice touch these things crack me up!**_


	6. Chapter 6

I am so mean well you see im really not sure if anyone likes my stories or if anyone even would read them anymore so could you all go to my poll and respond for those of you who are not members you can leave it in a review I do appreciate it. Your advice even if I don't continue with this I will still continue with my story on me and my friends account To kill a blonde the story is called The Germany project and is funny in a way. Thanks im sorry to get your hopes up after months and months of waiting but I kinda need encouragement. The poll will be open until Sunday the 21st so after volleyball tryouts. Thanks


	7. Chapter 7

Iggy's list:

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in House ware," and see what happens

Fang's List: NONE

Max's POV

So you know eventually the fire alarms started blaring and then well all hell broke loose. Like more than before. So now we are currently standing outside Wal-mart waiting to go back in, while the firemen are checking it all out.

"Max are we going back in now?" Gazzy asks me when people started going back in. I guess the water didn't really ruin everything such as the electronics so were allowed to shop. I look at my troopers covered in glitter and costumes and extremely smelly and then down at myself in my 'I'm so cute, come and squish me Barbie' costume, and I have to give it to them, I have had fun so far and we haven't been arrested yet.

"LET'S MOVE OUT!" I scream pointing at Wal-Mart and the Flock seems to get the idea and begins to split up into the usual pairs Nudge and Angel, Gazzy and Iggy, Fang and I.

"Sure about this Max," Fang asks me with a hint of excitement in his eyes.

"Hell no," I reply and with that phrase we go running into the store.

Iggy's POV

"Okay I say we start with number 10, because it just makes sense," Gazzy tells me.

"You go do it I can't see anyway," I tell him giving him a push on the back into an isle I probably should follow him so I start following him.

"We have a code 3 in house ware sir," Gazzy says in a 'don't mess with me' tone we've all learned from Max.

"Again," the man sighs in that gay accent and stomps off.

"Wow, what a sissy," Gazzy says in his voice, and we both start cracking up.

Angel's POV

_IN 3 2 1_

I let go of my bombs Nudge and I came up with. I hear them scream and I see Max and Fang looking all around but they obviously don't see us. Just one of the perks of having mind control.

"Use them," Nudge whispers pointing at two elderly speed walking toward the prunes.

"Okay," I whisper and I make Max and Fang believe that they were the ones who dumped the gunk on them, they start running.

"Great Angel you can almost see the steam coming out of Max's ears she looks like that thing on the Loony Tunes that Bugs Bunny always gets really mad." Nudge says giving me a high five.

"Come on lets go find something else to do," I say to Nudge jumping down from the top of the shelves.

**So long time no update but I will update it once a week so on Wednesdays and if you could review what number you want me to use from Iggy's or Fang's list or a random idea for Nudge and Angel you will get credit for the girls. **

**NO OFFENCE TO: ELDERLY, BLIND, GAY, OR GAY ACCENTS, OR PRUNES**


End file.
